Sickly Weeds

Sickly Weeds?

Without fail, every morning I wake up, grasp my cup of coffee and sit on my deck. As the first gulp of scalding hot mocha hits my system, from a grouchy pachyderm, I become a tolerable human being. Then, stretching out in a deck chair, I enjoy the lover-like kisses of the early morning zephyrs and the smell of the lush greenery -- although, for a while, last summer, the lawns looked as if they had taken the brunt of a major brushfire. The powerful effect of the summer morning troika: time, place, and coffee, speeds up the metamorphosis from the early morning caveman syndrome into the final product that is Sahib.

Now I can look at my neighbors on both sides without a shred of malice or an iota of envy. Their lawns are thick, luscious, and so beautifully manicured. It is an obsession with them, but you know what the psychologists have to say about that! Anal fixation, right! They invest time, money, and backbreaking effort in trying to maintain the façade of a beautiful lawn. Why is it that humans always have a love affair with the weak and the useless? Grass is green; I give you that. However, how is it any better than weeds? First, weeds are survivors; they are tough. One can try as hard as possible, but weeds can take a licking and keep coming back for more. You would think that humans would be proud of weeds; they are inexpensive, green, and tough as all-get-out. Perhaps, more than anything else, it is their toughness that seems to irk us so much. After all, we do not go out into the woods and simply destroy the weeds. No! Looking at the beautiful natural landscape of the world around us, we savor every moment of it. In nature, everything is lovely. We never say to ourselves: Man! That bright yellow flower does not go very well with that purple colored one. But, get us to talking about clothes and decorating ideas, and we are adamant that reds would not do, or any other color that appears to raise the flag for us. Am I missing something here? What makes a decorator say that one color will do, and another will not. I do not seem to see them question God (Or maybe, I am not privy to their conversation with Him).

Pardon me Master, but I do not think it was right to have made the sky azure blue. Shouldn’t there have been a touch more of aqua to it, or even a hint of cobalt? And the desert, definitely more camel beige! There is too much pink in it, too Victorian; it clashes with the skin of the people. Come on!

So why do we have this thing against weeds? I say, let them remain and it will be easier on everyone’s pocket. Besides, they do grow everywhere; maybe they will grow on us also.
When I read this to my wife, she had a real chuckle over it. Then putting her hands on her hips, she looked me in the eye and said: “Write what you want, but I want my lawn like the neighbors.”
Ah! Well! You can’t win them all.

Riaz Sahibzada